Staff Intranet

If you are looking for any information that you cannot find, please call Kyle.  I would like to make this a site that everyone finds very, very helpful.  

 

The Avid4 Adventure Staff Intranet is changing and is being updated all the time...

1.  The site is no longer password protected. In order to send an email to all staff, see the options at left.

2.  If you would like to view a document, please open and save it to your computer.  PLEASE DO NOT "check out" a document.

3.  If there is any info that you would like to see loaded onto the intra-net, please call Kyle and he'll take care of it.

 

Location Reports:

Boulder

Golden

Denver

Highland Ranch

 

New Information, 2010:

 

Old Information (but potentially useful):

Camp Staff Training 2009.pdf

Staff meetings, 2010:

 

LOVE and LOGIC Tips:

 

1/7/10

Threats & Warnings

Little Cleo looked out of the corner of her eye at her Mom with one of those testing looks, then pushed her child sized grocery cart into the legs of her sister.

"Quit that," warned Mom. "I've warned you about that three times already. If you do it again I'm going to take it away!"

Three minutes later Cleo was doing it again.

"Cleo, I said no," yelled Mom. "Now you stop it! You're going to be in big trouble! How many times do I have to tell you?"

Ten minutes later, I saw Mom still making threats. I'm not sure she was aware of Cleo's sly little grin.

During the same trip, I watched another Mom dealing with the same problem. There were no threats.

"Willie, you know better than that. Follow me." She calmly walked to the front of the store with her son trailing behind.

"Leave your cart with the others here. You can try it again next time we're in the store."

"But, Mom. I'll be good. I promise."

"I'm sure you will next time we shop."

A sobbing little Willie followed his mom through the store.

Let's all give Willie's mother a big hand. And let's give Cleo's mom a moment of silence. The threats and warnings may still be going on while we read this.

 

7/9/09

Easing Power-Struggles with Young Children


There's a period in almost every young child's developmental life during which it seems like they resist just about everything we do. When it's time to change their diaper they throw a fit and try to wiggle away. When meal time rolls around, they cry and refuse to eat their sandwich because it's cut wrong. Etc.

This stage usually subsides with time and the maturation of their wonderful little brain cells. But…in the meantime…what can we do to ease the battles?

One powerful approach involves asking young kids lots and lots of questions…questions about anything. Yes, when they begin to throw their fits, look at them with an excited smile, and begin asking things like:

What's your favorite animal?

What do you like to eat the most of?

Do you think you are going to ride your tricycle today?

What did you do at Grandma's yesterday?

Is the moon up in the sky or in the garage?

If asked in an excited, rapid-fire way…not pausing much for the child's answer to each…these sorts of questions can get little ones thinking more about the answers than about the fit they are trying to throw. In fact, it's not unusual for a small child to stop fighting and want to tell you all about something that excites them!

6/24/09

Reminders: Why They Aren't Always a Good Thing

Dear Kyle,

If you've been around Love and Logic^® for any time at all, you already know that I'm not a big fan of giving kids repeated warnings and reminders. In fact, some of you may be getting a little sick of how many times I've reminded you about this. I nag folks not to give warnings and reminders because it's such an easy trap to fall into…and it can do so much damage.

Even with all of my passion over the subject, I find myself forgetting that…

My kids already know most of the things I'm reminding them about.

Reminding them anyway sends the message that they are incapable of using their brains.

When I get reminded and warned about things I already know, it ticks me off. Then I often act like a jerk.

When I give repeated warnings and reminders, it trains my kids to need repeated warnings and reminders.

They're probably going to have a hard time finding bosses who like to nag them to get their work done.

We can build a far stronger nation…and economy…by preparing our children to be self-managed rather than addicted to nagging.

 

 

6/18/09

Power-Struggles End Learning

Dear Kyle,

There are few things more disheartening and perplexing than seeing our children fail to earn the sorts of grades they're capable of. For many of us, the natural reaction is to jump into lecture, threat, and punishment mode:

What sort of college do you think you're going to get into with those grades?

If you don't start applying yourself, you can forget about going out for soccer.

That's it! You're grounded until you bring up those grades!

Sometimes this approach works. Too frequently it doesn't.

If your child is underachieving, and these types of traditional techniques have not been successful, there's a good chance that you've got a power-struggle on your hands. For many children, their favorite way of gaining the sense of control or freedom they desire is to resist learning and achievement. The more the adults in their lives try to force them into learning, the less they do.

In our DVD Hope for Underachieving Kids we note that there are no quick and simple "fixes" for underachievement. Fortunately, there are long-term solutions. These solutions are possible only if the adults involved are willing to stop trying to control something they never had control over to start with.

No matter how badly we want to, we can't force kids to learn.

The first step in reaching underachieving kids involves ending the control battle. This starts by saying, "I can't make you learn…but I can help you learn. You're the one who needs to decide. I will love you regardless of how easy or how hard you make your own life."

 

 

6/12

When to Discipline

I met a man on the airplane who passed on some great advice. He said that he memorized the following rhyme. It played in his head many times as he raised his family. He said that every time he forgot to apply this wisdom he was disappointed with how he handled a situation.  If you are reading this, be the first to call Kyle and receive a $10 Amante gift card.

Here it is:

"Never discipline in anger.
Never discipline in haste.
Save it for some happy day,
When both are feeling great."

One of the essential skills of Love and Logic^® parents is to delay discipline long enough to cool down, think it over, seek advice if necessary, and deliver the consequence when both the adult and child are in the thinking mode.

 

5/6 Looking Calm When We're Not

Dear Kyle,

What's the biggest parenting challenge for you? If you're like many parents, it's keeping your cool when your kids are getting on your last nerve!

Why is it so important to at least look calm and collected as we provide consequences for our children's misbehavior? Because…

Anger creates resentment and rebellion.

Empathy ups the odds of genuine remorse and responsibility.

Anger says, "I can barely handle you!"

Empathy communicates, "I'm such a great parent that I can handle you without breaking a sweat!"

Anger creates kids who get sneaky and do irresponsible things behind our backs.

Empathy creates kids who are more likely to behave even when we aren't watching them.

When parents get into the unhealthy habit of nagging and repeating themselves, their anger builds inside. By the time they finally follow through, they're too angry to think straight! Wiser parents set limits and follow through quickly…without using too many words. Because problems are dealt with in their early stages, the parent remains calmer…and their kids learn that it's not okay to perform "water torture" by constantly repeating the same frustrating behaviors.

 

4/30  Everything Rests on Relationships

Dear Kyle,

What makes Love and Logic work? Some believe it's our strong emphasis on setting limits. They think that folks who are struggling with their kids just aren't setting enough limits. Others believe that the power of Love and Logic has more to do with providing consequences for misbehavior. They think that those who're unsuccessful with kids just need to do a better job of providing bigger and more powerful consequences.

Both of these viewpoints are right…and also wrong. Limits are critical, but we'll never make them stick if we don't have good relationships with our kids. Holding youngsters accountable for their misbehavior is also essential, but have you noticed that kids just don't seem to care that much about consequences when they come from someone they don't love and respect?

Everything rests on relationships. Limits gain their power from them, and so do consequences. So, if we want Love and Logic to have its full power, we're wise to do plenty of the following:

Focus mostly on our children's strengths rather than their weaknesses.

Smile at them as often as possible.

Write them little notes that tell them how much we adore them.

Greet them each day with a hug or a high five.

Make sure that they overhear us talking about how much we love them.

Deliver our Love and Logic with great empathy and sincerity.

Thanks for reading!
Dr. Charles Fay